Archive for the 'Ticket Busters' Category

O Paris…

Van Hamilton September 2nd, 2010

My perusal of the RJ this past Sunday yielded many interesting factoids.  Many of the articles told the story of gloom and doom for Las Vegas.  For more on this click here.  For this entry I want to focus on our darling Paris Hilton who was a recent visitor to our fair city, and had an opportunity to tour one of our detention facilities over the weekend.

So, allegedly, Paris Hilton comes to Vegas to visit with one of her studs…Cy Waits. This young man happened to be one of Steve Wynn’s favorite club operators and had just been hired to run Wynn’s nightclub operations at Wynn LV and Encore. I use past tense purposely here, because of Mr. Wynn’s zero tolerance policy when it comes to drugs and arrests. As of today, Mr. Waits is no longer employed by Mr. Wynn. (applause for Steve Wynn inserted here.)

Anyway, allegedly, cops stopped the black SUV that Paris and Cy were tooling around town in, at about 11:30 Friday night, allegedly due to the smell of marijuana. Can you imagine such a thing from these crazy kids? Paris says she needs to use the bathroom so allegedly is escorted from the alleged Escalade into the Wynn hotel with a police escort, and as Paris pulls lip gloss from her purse (well you have to look good for a drug bust) what should fall out of said purse, but a baggie of cocaine…we’re told was allegedly 0.8 grams of the stuff.

But it gets better, allegedly she tells cops the purse isn’t really her’s…she’s borrowing it from a friend. Hmmm. Anyway, the two (Cy and Paris) are taken to jail and after about 3 hours, Paris is released. We are then told that there was no special treatment of Ms. Hilton, but that the jail was overcrowded, and she has no violent record, and yet later in the article, it is revealed that she was kept in an isolated, er uh, private cell during her short visit. Now, is there anyone reading this, that believes that if you were arrested due to 0.8 grams of coke in your purse, car, house, or neighborhood, that you would get a private cell and be released after 3 hours? But I digress.

What’s the matter with kids today? Well dear Paris, you are being charged, I understand with felony possession, and so I’m guessing you’ll have more opportunities to visit Vegas. Unfortunately what happened in Vegas in this case, did not just stay here…it’s all over the net, and maybe that’s OK…perhaps any publicity is better than no publicity in your case.

So bottom line is this…we aren’t all Paris Hilton’s, thankfully, but when we get in a bind; maybe it’s not cocaine, maybe it’s an unpaid warrant, or a traffic ticket that we just don’t have the time to deal with, there is a service, call it a “concierge” service that will handle your tickets and warrants and even defend you in case of a drug charge, or other criminal mischief. Call us at Ticket Busters 666-6666 or The Defenders 333-3333. We will be there to assist you.

Pour Some Holy Water On Me

admin March 16th, 2010

 

Although Johnny Depp looked a little creepy in the previews for Alice in Wonderland, I took  my daughter to see it anyway.

It turns out the movie was spectacular! I came out sporting an English accent and waving my hands in a circular motion like the Good Witch. Umm…why is the good witch called the White Witch? Why does she have to be white? Is it symbolism in its subliminal form? Wow, sometimes I feel like I write like In Living Color’s *Oswald Bates (I just dated myself and will have to use a footnote!).

Perhaps, producers were making a religious reference to the White Light of the Lord? Why not brown, or tan witch? What about a Chicana Witch? Why did the bad witch, who was called the Red Witch, have an enormous head? Did Red refer to The Devil?

Bad witches are pretty too. Remember the movie, Mean Girls? The really creepy thing was how much I paid for a bottled water- 5 dollars! I usually take my own water with snacks from home, but I was unprepared this time.

I couldn’t justify spending so much on such a basic need, so, I deemed my experience divine and waved my hand and cast thy plain and simple water into holy water!

I have saved the receipt to see if any water droplets drip from the edges- tears of hard earned cash. I thought I saw an imprint of the Virgin Mary on my receipt.

Let me know if you see it too. Meanwhile keep away from the ”HOLY Moly! this is expensive” theatre-snack bar and take your burritos and water from home

Footnote*Damon Wayans plays an eloquent prison inmate whose vocabulary is full of incorrectly used clinical terms

Court Jargon Simplified

admin March 1st, 2010

After reading an article about a murder case that was taken from the Florida court to the Florida Supreme Court, and then back to the Florida Court, I thought about how confusing the article must be for a person who lacks a basic legal background.

 Footnotes or cliff notes would really come in handy for those who do not work in the legal field. Nowadays, Wikipedia is just a Google click away, but who has time for such rhetoric. Nevertheless, there are those who read our blogs..I will make this short and sweet.   

 We have a three-tiered Court System:

 District Court or Trial Court- a Judgment is reached. If you find error in the judgment reached in district or trial court, you can appeal to the Appellate Court.

 Appellate Court or Court of Appeals:  Is made up of a panel of three judges who hear arguments on both sides.

 The Appellate Court has three options: 

  • Change the judgment
  • Remand send the case back to the lower court to change the judgment
  • Send the case back to the lower court to keep the same judgment

 Supreme Court- All 50 states have their version of the Appeal to the Supreme Court.

 The Nevada Supreme Court is comprised of seven justices. There is no court higher than the Supreme Court- their decision is final.

Governor Gibbons’ Girls in Different Area Codes

admin February 24th, 2010

Our state continues to live up to its reputation of politicians gone wild and we watch it like its great reality TV.

 Cheaters, I mean the channel 8 I-team was on the scene exposing Governor Gibbons in his affair gone completely bad.

 But, what affair doesn’t go bad? It’s like a drug deal. Ever heard a news anchor say, “It was a drug deal gone bad.”

 Drug deals always go bad. There’s drugs exchanged for money, somebody gets high with illegal drugs and another person gets paid for illegal drugs.

 Of course, an affair is not illegal. These shenanigans have more to do with moral and ethics. Nevertheless, it always goes bad.

 Why do we continue to make an issue out of our politicians having affairs? Perhaps because they are elected officials running on platforms and they are held to a higher moral standard.

  Remember though, we are people running on platforms too.

 We have our religious platforms- Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist, Mormon and don’t forget the non-denominational or just plain atheist. Why should we judge? We are hypocrites. We stray all the time (drinking, gambling, cheating, omitting, one way or another we all lie) and we don’t have an entire camera crew trying to get us to confess, or do we?

  I called it in the beginning. I said, never trust a man without a bottom lip or is it a top lip? Either way. Our Governor was controversial before he was put in office. So, it seems we love the drama.

  A couple days after Chrissy Mazzeo yelled sexual assault we put him in office. All of a sudden we care about Jim’s girls in different area codes.

 Yes, last night our lipless Governor was caught in multiple lies – one after another.  This reminds me of…ah yes, Clinton – who we now pay to hear him whisper sweet nothings in our ear.

  While I was watching the video- I team vs. Gibbons, I felt myself pulling for Gibbons-  saying, come on, come on… just say, yes! Admit it and they will leave you alone. I guarantee you the camera crews would have backed off if he admitted to his special session. I’m’ just Monday night quarterbacking though.

 Until… I saw the girlfriend get in to the state vehicle. That stung a little. I felt like he was driving his girl around in the car that I pay for. Oh no he didn’t!

 For the record, I don’t agree with the Governors politics, but I do feel we have become sidetracked on the sensationalism of his personal life. Channel 8 has got us wrapped up in their own vendetta against the Governor.

Nevada DMV, Friend or Foe?

admin February 3rd, 2010

Apparently 15 percent of Nevada Drivers are uninsured according to KTVN Channel 2 news, which has caused our DMV to become babysitters or debt collectors.

 In the past the DMV took a drivers word when it came to proof of insurance, but since we can’t play well with others, we must abide by the new rule and pay.

 Before registering a car with the DMV, you must provide proof of insurance on the vehicle, if you cannot prove you have coverage or your insurance lapses drivers will be fined $250. Nevada Drivers will not have a seven-day grace period anymore.

 The DMV keeps track of lapses in insurance electronically and when lapses occur, it will prompt an automatic bill in the mail.

 So, it sounds like big brother is really looking out for us, or could it be a simple way to generate some state income?

 Either way, I guess it won’t hurt for Nevada drivers to grow up and become responsible adults.

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

admin February 2nd, 2010

Yesterday a man riding a motorcycle died after crashing into the back of a car.

The rider and another person on a motorcycle were speeding northbound on Lorenzi Street near Alta Drive. The car was also going northbound on Lorenzi when the rider hit the car’s back bumper.

According to police, the motorcycle was going so fast, it skidded more than 150 feet before stopping.  

Before riding on the back of a motorcycle with anybody I always ask if they’ve ever been in a motorcycle accident, if their reply is “no,” I don’t ride.

People who have been in motorcycle accidents and survive are most likely to use due care and don’t speed because they have experienced the ramifications.

These accident survivors have encountered one of the most horrific near death experiences- there are no fender benders in an accident involving a motorcycle- because the rider is always the most vulnerable.

Unfortunately, when you are dead there is no time to learn your lesson. Moral of the story- learn from others mistakes.

Mother and Son Killed by Reckless Driver

admin February 1st, 2010

Life is not fair when you have to pay for others’ mistakes.
A 17-year-old and his 41-year-old mother died in a car crash Friday night on Lamb and Las Vegas Blvd.
Channel 8 News Now said 20-year-old Nathan Hardy was driving recklessly before the crash and had run several red lights before slamming into Santos and his mother’s car. 
Hardy faces two felony counts for reckless driving causing death.
Sunday night nearly 200 people said goodbye to Canyon Springs High School senior Daniel Santos. Since Santos was a band member, Santos was remembered in front of the school’s band hall.  Santos often stayed after school to help others.

Our heart goes out to all of their family and friends.

Officer Shooting Unsettling

admin November 19th, 2009

This morning some of us woke up to news of an off-duty police officer who died after getting shot in his own home. His wife, mother and two kids were inside the home when several gun shots were heard in the garage. The officer got shot after arriving from work.

 According to a Fox 5 reporter, it was a random act; I even heard home invasion thrown around a couple times. But, why does my gut tell me it was not a random act or home invasion, but rather someone with an axe to grind with the young officer. I think this act of violence was personal.

 Police officers write tickets and arrest those who are suspected of committing crimes and most of us take that personal, but we let go because we are sensible- police officers are only doing their job.

 However, it is unsettling when I read about this particular officer’s tragedy and view an RJ reader comment say, “Anytime a cop is killed is a good day.”

 Really…these men and women still have family and friends who love them, they have kids, and a wife who is relieved when she hears the garage door open and shut to mean that her husband has made it home safe for one more day. 

 When it comes to a tragedy that strikes a police officer, it seems these men and women in uniform get less sympathy from our community.

 Over the past couple of months we have had two officers die while on duty because they were speeding in their patrol car.

  If it were a civilian who got killed after speeding, the community would not hold back on the outpouring of sympathy.

 Yet, some people were reluctant to show compassion towards these officers because of the circumstances surrounding their deaths. We must remember that police officers are human, they have families they love, they speed, they make mistakes, and sometimes they even take a bullet in the place of someone else.

 My sympathies go out to the METRO officer’s family and friends.

Cruisin’ Strippers Cause Concerns

admin November 16th, 2009

For the Déjà vu Strip Club, business must be bad if they are forced to take their show on the road- their freak-show! Good marketing… bad advertising! Who wants to go to the Déjà vu strip club to see all those muffin tops strut their stuff?

 The Déjà vu girls, who were in a truck with clear plastic sides, were pole dancing as the truck cruised down the Las Vegas Boulevard. Our county commissioner vowed to shut it down because of the concerns over safety- people might get distracted.

 Distracted over the overweight girls in bikinis? Hmmm… Vegas must be in a bad economy when our strippers cannot get to the treadmill before their shift begins.

 The real concern is – our strippers are not hot anymore!

 But, in “their” defense- the “their” being the thin, sexy strippers who I know were getting their beauty rest while the muffin tops were out with the circus,  ”they” are never on the day shift.   

Las Vegans know that the day-shift belongs to all the below-average, muffin tops.  But, what concerns me is that our tourists don’t know that. So, seriously, what kind of image are we putting out there?

The Right to Write?

admin October 23rd, 2009

Police officers are held to a high moral standard in the community and that’s just the way it is.  That being said, should officers really have the right to write a speeding ticket if they, themselves violate that same law while on duty.  The answer is… yes.

  To Err is Human, and police officers are just that- human. So we should not let some bad decisions spoil it for the rest of the officers who always practice what they preach.

 However, because officers Err they should also be able to use their discretion on whether or not to write a ticket.  Yes, I know, some officers do show mercy, but not all. So, to those who do not view the world in shades of gray- I must get up on my soap box.

 Officer of the law, can you give the little old lady who is late to church a break? Can you cut the PTA mom some slack?

 How about a simple verbal warning to the kid who just enlisted in the Army to fight for our country?

 Or, it might be the kid who just enlisted in the Army who has a lead foot, and made an unsafe lane change.  Bygones…

 Carlos, the soldier boy in question, was driving and a bit distracted- thinking about his three boys that he would have to leave behind after joining the Army.  Or… perhaps Carlos may have been trying to catch up to the Sapphire’s mobile billboard that has been driving all around town.

Either way, Carlos was stopped by a police officer and given a ticket for speeding and an unsafe lane change. But, being the fighter that our Carlos is, he pled his case- “Officer, I cannot afford a ticket – I don’t have a job and I leave for The Army in a couple of weeks.”

 Carlos never had a fighting chance. Carlos said, the police officer was out to get him, and the officer had no right to write him a ticket – the whole thing was a mistake! I tend to believe Carlos, simply because the customer always has the right- the right to vent.

 So much for fighting for this great country, Carlos thought. Aside from getting a big dose of reality, Carlos was at a loss. How was Carlos going to appear in court on the October date written on the ticket? Carlos would be off fighting a war in October!

 Carlos thought to himself… wait a tic, this is still a great country, when there is an injustice there is always a way to make things right, just then he saw his sign – The Ticket Busters Billboard on Valley View.

 While Carlos is off fighting a war a Ticket Busters Attorney will fight for him here at home. Amen! Carlos thought, To Err is human and the 666 number is Devine!

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