Archive for September, 2010

Umar…

Van September 13th, 2010

I knew there was a joke there somewhere…I just had to wait for it. In this case, the joker is Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab otherwise known as the “underwear bomber.” Wouldn’t you just love to have that moniker hanging around your neck for the rest of history? We’ve had the “shoe bomber,” now comes…the “underwear bomber.”

For those who may not recall, this is the 23 year old Nigerian national, who tried to light his fully loaded underpants on Christmas day last year on Northwest Airlines flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit. He happened to be wearing a set of boxers, or briefs, we can’t and don’t want to be any more sure of which, made of plastique, or also known by the generic designation of PETN. And for those who are not familiar, this is some pretty nasty stuff. For further information on PETN click here.

Just to bring everyone up to speed, in case you’ve been living under a rock or on another planet, this guy was stopped by other passengers on the plane seeing him use a lighter and trying to light something sticking out of his pants. I’m thinking to myself, why is it, when I came back from Canada 2 years ago, did I have to let Mr. Customs practically feel my junk in order to get on the plane, and this guy waltzes on a trans-Atlantic flight with plastique in his pants. I still have nightmares about that trip. Anyway, back to business here. In any case, he got on and nearing landing tried to light up, which was seen by other passengers, who then heroically jumped him and subdued him.

So Umar, has been charged with several nasty sounding charges, including “Attempted Use of a Weapon of Mass Destruction” and “Willful Attempt to Destroy an Aircraft” among others and is looking at probably several life sentences. What do you suppose will be his greeting upon entering the federal lockup. “Hey, is that plastique in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?” He can only hope it will be that kind.

So the joke is, he fired his lawyers today and will be representing himself in court. U.S. District Judge, Nancy Edmonds, almost pleadingly asked him if he was familiar with the US legal system, and court procedures, to which he answered, of course, NO, and he even admitted that English was not even his first language. Per Umar, “I prefer to represent myself. Any representation I have, there will always be a conflict of interest…any representation I get would present me in a way that is not in my best interest.” Amazing. Finally and it seems almost desparate, the judge assigned standby counsel for the accused to answer questions he may have during the court proceedings.

He did ask the judge a question, and I can’t figure out if it’s shrewd or stupid, “If I want to plead guilty to some counts, how would I go?” To which the judge wisely answered, that’s the reason he has standby counsel. What’s most amazing is this incredible legal system of ours that seems to really try to protect the rights of the accused.

Well, if you’ve tried to get on a plane wearing plastique pants, don’t call us. However, if you’ve gotten a ticket, or you have warrants outstanding, or there’s some criminal charges looming for which you need representation, please DO call us. Once you call, we’ll do more than standby, we’ll get right into your case and bring things to a conclusion. We’re Ticket Busters at 666-6666 and The Defenders at 333-3333. We are standing by, just waiting for your call.

O Paris…

Van September 2nd, 2010

My perusal of the RJ this past Sunday yielded many interesting factoids.  Many of the articles told the story of gloom and doom for Las Vegas.  For more on this click here.  For this entry I want to focus on our darling Paris Hilton who was a recent visitor to our fair city, and had an opportunity to tour one of our detention facilities over the weekend.

So, allegedly, Paris Hilton comes to Vegas to visit with one of her studs…Cy Waits. This young man happened to be one of Steve Wynn’s favorite club operators and had just been hired to run Wynn’s nightclub operations at Wynn LV and Encore. I use past tense purposely here, because of Mr. Wynn’s zero tolerance policy when it comes to drugs and arrests. As of today, Mr. Waits is no longer employed by Mr. Wynn. (applause for Steve Wynn inserted here.)

Anyway, allegedly, cops stopped the black SUV that Paris and Cy were tooling around town in, at about 11:30 Friday night, allegedly due to the smell of marijuana. Can you imagine such a thing from these crazy kids? Paris says she needs to use the bathroom so allegedly is escorted from the alleged Escalade into the Wynn hotel with a police escort, and as Paris pulls lip gloss from her purse (well you have to look good for a drug bust) what should fall out of said purse, but a baggie of cocaine…we’re told was allegedly 0.8 grams of the stuff.

But it gets better, allegedly she tells cops the purse isn’t really her’s…she’s borrowing it from a friend. Hmmm. Anyway, the two (Cy and Paris) are taken to jail and after about 3 hours, Paris is released. We are then told that there was no special treatment of Ms. Hilton, but that the jail was overcrowded, and she has no violent record, and yet later in the article, it is revealed that she was kept in an isolated, er uh, private cell during her short visit. Now, is there anyone reading this, that believes that if you were arrested due to 0.8 grams of coke in your purse, car, house, or neighborhood, that you would get a private cell and be released after 3 hours? But I digress.

What’s the matter with kids today? Well dear Paris, you are being charged, I understand with felony possession, and so I’m guessing you’ll have more opportunities to visit Vegas. Unfortunately what happened in Vegas in this case, did not just stay here…it’s all over the net, and maybe that’s OK…perhaps any publicity is better than no publicity in your case.

So bottom line is this…we aren’t all Paris Hilton’s, thankfully, but when we get in a bind; maybe it’s not cocaine, maybe it’s an unpaid warrant, or a traffic ticket that we just don’t have the time to deal with, there is a service, call it a “concierge” service that will handle your tickets and warrants and even defend you in case of a drug charge, or other criminal mischief. Call us at Ticket Busters 666-6666 or The Defenders 333-3333. We will be there to assist you.

 

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